The Beautiful End To A Beautiful Love Story

Chapter One

It all started on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in April of 2012. You had been having headaches, lots of them. You were treated at an ER with steroids because it was “probably allergies”. Well it wasn’t. Scans confirmed a brain tumor and pathology confirmed the worst, GBM. So that began our 8+ years of dealing with the beast.

You endured the standard treatments, 32 radiation treatments, months and months of chemotherapy; Temodar, Avastin, Carbo platinum, more radiation and all the rest including over 50 MRI's. I think the thing you hated most, and I would agree, was the weekly blood draws. It got to where they could never hit a vein.

Prior to the seizure I had noticed some personality things were a bit off at first. At one point I thought we were going to split up. It wasn’t until you got so mad at the weed wacker that worried me. The very next day April 29^th, the day that changed everything.

The end came early in the morning of October 30^th, 2020.

Watching someone die who was the love of your life is an inexpressible emotion. When two people have a connection as strong as ours words are unnecessary to convey the love that we knew existed. Even knowing how much you loved me I always sought and craved the reinforcement of your touch and soothing voice. You were always a part of me. When I would think of me, I always thought of us.

Our First Anniversary 1985

Watching you die was not easy. It required me to dig deep inside myself, searching for the strength I would need to see you through this. I don’t know if I did a good job or not. I think I did. You never ended up in a hospital; no more pokes and prods and needles and all that crap. So, yeah; I think I was able to give you a comfortable transition to the other side.

Two things I will take away from your day was that final smile and a twinkle in your eye. You were naughty right up to the end.

Chapter two

GBM is a viscous animal with voracious appetite. It slowly consumes its host until they both die. Staving off this beast for as long as you did was remarkable, but, in the end the beast won. 

Or did it? 

You never let it deprive you of things that mattered. 

You made it fight for every brain cell it wanted. 

You attacked it with everything you could because you never gave up. 

Your optimistic hope that things will get better is an inspiration for a lot of people.

On our first date

I know I saw it.

On the morning that you left, you woke me. Something had changed in the rhythm of your breathing or you made a sound but it woke me. I looked up and saw your chest relax with your final breath and I knew you were free. 

I immediately did nothing. 

I couldn’t. 

What would I do? 

I just watched as your spirit left you until I was alone.

Chapter Three

May 27^th, 1984 Reno, Nevada

• I have your spirit.

The first thing I asked you after you died was, “Where did you go?” I still ask. 

I know the answer; 

there is no answer.

• It is safe with me.

This grief I felt at your loss is not grief for me and what I lost. 

It is for you and what you lost, what you’ll never see or do. 

I grieve for you.

• It’s been 5 days now.

You will have a nice funeral, 

I’ve seen to that. 

Many people whose lives you touched will be there. Linda said she’d definitely be there. 

Dorothy can’t, you know that, but she’s called twice. 

Shane and Tony will be with you overnight on Friday in the Maori tradition.

• I’m trying to keep it together.

When I was getting our house together after your remains were taken away emptiness immediately took over the place. It felt like I was cleaning up after a big party. A strange and curious sensation.

What will become of me after our life has been reviewed remains to be seen. The lessons I learned during our life together will guide me forever. 

I will move on as everyone suggests but my heart will never be the same. 

Thank you for placing the ultimate trust in me all those years ago. With your strength we were able to have a pretty good life together. For that I will be forever grateful. 

Not many people are as blessed as we were.

Thank you my love.

G.

Dateline: McKinney, Texas September 3, 2017

Not Too Political This Week

This week’s blog post doesn’t have any particular topic. Hurricane Harvey has overshadowed everything, at least down here in Texas. The world has continued to move on in spite of our tragedy.

THE WALL

I’m wondering how to spin a little known, and probably purposely overlooked, story that came out of South Texas last week. I’m referring to the first response aid that came across the border from our neighbor to the South. Yes, Mexicans were caught providing aid and comfort to victims of Harvey. Amazing that ICE wasn’t there to turn them away.

Keep in mind that Mexico had the hurricane too. The Texas Gulf coast caught the brunt but there is no invisible barrier that keeps storms on our side of the border.

Texas Accepts Mexican Offer of Hurricane Harvey Aid

North Korea

That wacky Korean with the funny haircut is at it again. He just popped off another nuke, an H-bomb this time. Says he can put it on an ICBM and attack the USA.

I can see his point for being pissed at us; we have posed sanctions against the regime, and rightly so. The man won’t be happy until he has proven his point, whatever that is.

His Cult of Personality is all pervasive in the North. Dictators are notorious narcissists and Kim is no exception. Romania had a similar situation but the end of the USSR took down the Ceausescu regime. North Korea won’t be that lucky. A suicidal assassin or a Coup de Etat is probably their only hope. A war would only strengthen his resolve and grip on power.

Trump has stated we are out of the country/democracy building business. That’s good. It can never work like we plan. There are always some natives of the country we are democratizing that have different ideas. I thought we learned that lesson with Viet Nam.

Side Note on Viet Nam

Immediately after Japan surrendered on the USS Missouri Ho Chi Minh formed his government in Ha Noi. Much to the consternation of the French. They wanted their colony back; however, they were in no condition to run another country so close to the end of the Nazi occupation. The Brits stepped in to help French Indo-China back on its feet. At some point Lord Louis Mountbatten, who was in command of the British forces, recommended that the world should leave Indo-China to its own devices and the country would sort itself out in due course. Ho Chi Minh was really not a totally committed Communist at this point. Ho and his followers filled the void left by the Japanese after capitulation.

 Follow the link to a more detailed history of the Vietnamese conflicts.

The Birth of the Viet Minh: World War II’s Prelude to the Vietnam War

Side bar stories from The Dallas Morning News:

·       77 year old singer Tom Jones postponed his US tour because of health issues.

·       A second Salt Lake City police officer has been placed on admin leave after video of nurse’s arrest went viral.

·       A 13 year old boy is running for governor in Vermont.

o   Vermont is one of two states with no age restriction for running for office.

·       There is a refugee crisis in Myanmar.

o   Seems the former ruling military junta was persecuting a small Muslim sect.

o   Militant Buddhists among others are forcing these Rohingya Muslims to flee to Bangladesh.

·       Mexico is still a violent place.

·       Venezuela’s economy is still in the toilet

·       Kenyans are getting a “do over” for their recent election.

·       A fake hurricane Irma post had folks excited for a while (no, it’s not heading for Texas)

·       The last stranded Carnival cruise ship finally was able to return to Galveston.

·       Trump returned to Texas to help out.

o    “Do over”?

§  Felt guilty about not checking it out on the first visit?

§  Who knows or cares.

§  He may just be beginning to listen to people experienced in the optics of being presidential.

§  (My personal opinion is that no matter how hard he tries he will never be presidential or be considered a statesman.)

Short week coming up, Labor Day is tomorrow. Then I have a week’s vacation and in 2 weeks I’m going to my nephew’s wedding in Granby Colorado.

Cheerio chaps.

This is a Facebook post from one of the groups I belong to. It is for Glioblastoma patients and care givers. A few years ago a father of a young cancer patient that died not from the brain tumor but from the treatment. For some reason some people think the government are hiding cures for diseases because big pharm will lose money. Total crap I know but these people are on the fringes and they are given credibility. Here is my response.

We in the brain tumor community know that each cancer is as unique as the fingerprints on your hand. What is good for one patient is usually ineffective for others. This gentleman's story has been floating around for a long time. At best it is anecdotal evidence. Rest assured that the government does not hide cures for cancer. I've been a care giver for over 5 years for my wife. Stage 4 GBM in left temporal lobe. Standard protocol of surgery, radiation and Temodar. The tumor returned after 2 years. More radiation and 10 infusions of Avastin and Carbo-platin. She had a mild stroke probably due to the side effects of the chemo; her blood pressure went crazy. She also had a second stent placed in her heart along the way. It has been 3 years since any tumor was detected by MRI. No chemo for 3 years also. There is one word that we never use in the brain tumor world, 2 actually; Cured and Remission. With GBM that is the reality. You live with it. It's the new normal.

A free speech rally in Boston was disrupted by counter-protestors.

In Boston a rally that was billed as a free speech event turns chaotic.

The right wing free speech demonstrators were met by counter-protestors from the political left. It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out what went on. I’ll leave the descriptions of the event to the media.

My concern is that in Boston, the “Other Cradle of Liberty”, the right to free assembly and free speech was usurped by a violent wing of the opposition. Boston is where the original free speech movement started over 240 years ago. (There’s even statues there commemorating the event.) What better place to exercise your first amendment rights but Boston, Mass.

For the counter-protestors to act in this way is really un-American.  We all have the right to be heard as well as the right to disagree. These rights are unalienable. We as a nation must uphold everyone’s right to speak their mind. What was denied these right wing speakers were their rights to free assembly and free speech. The counter-protestors acted in a criminal manner and if possible should be held accountable. No one has the right to prevent a legal/lawful assembly as long as it is peaceful. Hell, the Supreme Court has upheld free speech rights so often that cases involving the first amendment rarely make it that far any more.

·       Burn a flag – Free Speech.

·       Have a Nazi rally in Skokie, Illinois – Free Speech. (This happened in the 80s)

·       Talk bad about the president – Free Speech

·       Say you want the president assassinated – NOT FREE SPEECH (This happened this week)

Everything the alt-right stands for I fine anathema but as distasteful as I think their views are I can only listen to them, form an opinion and exercise my right to disagree. The blogosphere is an excellent venue because hardly anyone reads them and I can get stuff off my chest.

“I may not agree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

kkk_leader_glad_protester_died

Someone close to me said I should try not to drop the F bomb for 1 day. So here goes.
How can any one who calls themselves an American condone these people. They are a scourge on the planet and they should be silenced somehow. To put yourself above another person because they are not Caucasian is not only un-American it is inhuman. If these people are allowed to persist in this behavior we are in some very deep trouble. In my humble opinion these people are enabled not necessarily by the president but by the climate that he has instilled by his inexperience and bluster. If you can't see that then the light at the end of your tunnel is a rapidly approaching train that is steadily gaining momentum. It's not about the statues any more; this is a life or death issue that is way beyond that.
(Not being able to "F" bomb is liberating somehow.)
Speaking of the statues, I really don't get this whole Southern heritage thing. I grew up in Philadelphia, The Cradle of Liberty, and believe me , we have our share of statues. But our statues are of winners and patriots not losers and traitors.
Didn't the South lose the war?
Didn't Lee and his bunch renounce their citizenship and swear allegiance to a foreign power waging war against the USA?
Did they not kill their countrymen and women in the bloodiest war in our history?
I have always been puzzled by this. And not just due to recent events. I have always thought it was odd that the losers kept the animosity going.
Finally, nothing on God's green earth will ever convince me that the Civil War was about nothing but slavery, period.
State's rights? Bullshit. Unless you mean the state's right to keep slaves.

Obituary of my grandfather Daniel J. Duffy

This article appeared in a Philadelphia newspaper during the week of August 4, 1935.

---

DANIEL J. DUFFY, SR.

NOTED MEAT PACKER

IS CLAIMED BY DEATH

Well-known Business Man, Founder of Duffy Brothers, Inc., Passes Away at His Home – Helped Establish the Meat Packing Business Located at Front and Venango Streets – Was Energetic and Enterprising and Devoted to Every Cause That Promised Betterment of the Community.

---

Philadelphia, its environs and many other communities were shocked to hear of the death of Daniel J. Duffy, Sr., president of Duffy Brothers, Inc., meat packers who passed away at his home, 1139 Dyre Street, last Friday, August 2. His qualities as a citizen and a business man were such that he will be sorely missed.

Mr. Duffy belonged to that sturdy and dependable race of business builders who showed initiative and energy and truly devoted their lives to the betterment of mankind. Mr. Duffy devoted himself to the conduct of a firm that gave employment to many and always maintained the highest traditions of business integrity.

Mr. Duffy was the founder of the meat packing business located at Front and Venango Streets - an enterprise that has grown in volume and reflects the resourcefulness and personality of its founder. It will be continued along the traditional lines of honest business methods which has made the firm an outstanding success.

 Mr. Duffy was born in Strabon, Ireland, June 16, 1878. He came to America with his parents when only six months of age. He received his early education in the parochial schools of Philadelphia and started in the meat business around 1895. From a small beginning – like every pioneer – his firm has become one of the best known in this section.

Mr. Duffy was always interested in furthering any progressive movement in the meat industry throughout the United States. He was considered the best judge of livestock in the East.

Favored with a progressive and energetic type of mind, Mr. Duffy was successful in maintaining an enterprise which was noted for the high quality of its products. It is a tradition to this day that anything which comes from Duffy Brothers, Inc. is to be depended upon. Employing the most skilled workmen, the business also has the advantage of skilled management. The result was noticeable in the steady progress made by this alert and widely respected concern.

Mr. Duffy was a member of the American Institute of Meat Packers and the Holy Name Society of St. Martin’s Roman Catholic Church.

Aside from his business qualifications, Mr. Duffy was an upright and conscientious citizen always keen to help in any movement that looked forward to the betterment of the community in which he lived. His whole environment was made brighter for his presence.

The business which he established will be carried on by the survivors in the enterprise – his two sons, Daniel, Jr. and Andrew Duffy. Besides these, he is survived by his wife, Mrs. Mary E. Duffy and two daughters, Elizabeth and Anna. To all of these the community extends heartfelt sympathy in the hour of their bereavement.

Funeral services took place Tuesday, August 6, from his late residence, 1139 Dyre Street, attended by relatives, friends and employees of Duffy Brothers, Inc. with Solemn Requiem Mass at St. Martin’s Church, at 10 A. M. Interment was in Holy Sepulchre Cemetery.

MR. DUFFY IS IN BACK ROW 3^RD FROM RIGHT. HIS ELDEST SON AND MY UNCLE, DAN, IS TO HIS RIGHT.

FRONT AND VENANGO THEN AND NOW

THE PLANT EVEN HAD ITS OWN RAIL SIDING

v  I transcribed this verbatim from a blurred copy of a copy.

v  The actual name of the business was DUFFY & BROTHERS.

v  He was born in Strabane, not Strabon.

v  The year was 1935.

v  The business was sold later, I’m not sure when. It became Cross Brothers Meats which closed in 1979.

I live in North Texas and work in Irving Texas which is supposed to be some hotbed of Islamic terrorism and sharia law. Yeah, I'm really scared of terrorists. NOT! There are 2 things that terrify me more here and neither one of them is Islamic terrorists.
#1 is people driving their cars with no regard for their fellow man. All they give a shit about is their phones. No shit. 75 miles an hour on the highway with their heads down looking at Facebook?, email? What? Probably catching up on the latest bullshit from the candidates. Oh yeah, red lights mean nothing either. Just like in Starman, "Green means go, yellow means go faster". Now that is terrorism.
#2 is BUBBA with his God given, second amendment six gun on his hip and his itchy trigger finger. There is no way that you can convince me that unrestricted open carry is a good thing. Again, home grown terrorism.
So all of the hype about making America great again and Stronger Together or whatever her slogan of the day is, is just so much crap. I remember "All The Way With LBJ", "Nixon's The One", "I Like Ike", "Building a bridge to the twenty-first century", "He’s making us proud again" – Gerald Ford, "A Leader, For a Change" – Jimmy Carter and many more. They meant shit then and they mean shit now.
So bring it on all of you Social Justice Warriors. Tell me how you think I'm a liberal shit-tard or whatever. If you think for one minute that Trump and Clinton have your best interests at heart then you might as well believe in Santa Claus because you have a better chance of him getting you what you want. (To see what a Trump America will be like just take a look at Austin Texas and what our Gang of Three is doing to this state.)