My dog died today

Chapter 1

My dog died today. He was the sweetest creature I ever met. He was always there for me and never complained about anything. He never hurt anyone and if I hurt him accidentally by not watching where I was walking, he always was forgiving. Unconditional love.

Spike was a miniature schnauzer, all black but he was turning gray in his old age. I loved him dearly but more so when his health was failing and I knew the end was near.

 Spike went everywhere we went if possible. He didn’t really like riding in the car but could always tell when we were near home.

If I needed to go outside for anything he was right there waiting to help me do whatever I was going to do; get the mail, fetch the paper or just going outside.  All I had to do was merely pick up the key chain for the gates and he was right at the door eager to go exploring. If I was grilling meat out back Spike was right there. He was family so he always got something from the grill.

Spike was the neighborhood dog too. He would wander up and down the street saying hello to everyone; they all loved him. The girls next door always stopped what they were doing to pet him.

Spike was a fun and funny pal. If he was leading the way he always pulled his ears back like he was saying, “OK I’ll go first, you follow me”. I’ll miss that.

He loved playing as all dogs do. If I was working in my office too long he would run to me and just sit on the floor next to me until I would pay attention to him. He loved to wrestle and let me spin him on the floor like a top. His favorite was a game I called “chase the baby’. The baby was any of his stuffed toys. I would toss it down the hall and he would fetch it and play keep away until he got tired.

Spike was a great goalie too. In the back yard we played soccer. It was hard to get his little soccer ball past him.

I put in a pet door for him after we had him for a year or so he had freedom to go in and out. He would go out back and prowl around and poop everywhere and bark at the dogs next door. When he was finished he would come flying back in and sit right at my feet with the biggest grin like he wanted to tell me everything he did. He was part human I'm sure.

Today was one of the worst days of my life though. It was finally time to end his suffering. He was very ill for about 2 months. Pancreatitis and diabetes was taking its toll. He would perk up for a while but it was no use. Our vet was the best; kind and understanding. Watching him pass was too much for me, I lost it. My best friend was gone and never coming back. I’ll get over it but I must grieve.

Chapter 2

It has been 2 days since Spike died.  Yesterday, Saturday, was horrible. The house was empty. Everywhere I looked there was Spike. It was too soon to let go. I still heard his barking and still saw him around the house. A black shoe on the floor became Spike. A shadow passing over the room was him heading for his water dish.  I still haven’t gotten used to not having him around, but I will.

I had to go out to the pharmacy Saturday morning. I was driving on autopilot and found myself on the way to the vet instead of turning right to the pharmacy. I had just passed the vets building and found myself behind the truck from the pet loss center. I knew Spike was in there because I knew when they were picking him up. I did not plan to be where I was, I just ended up there. I was able to say good bye one more time.

Today, Sunday was equally tough because we haven’t left the house since Friday evening. I was doing well for the first 10 minutes after I got up.

Staying busy for part of the day helped but after dinner it was time for his evening walk. I didn’t know what to do so I went for the walk alone. I had to. It was nice.

We always went around the block to the closed street where I would cut him loose to explore.  Spike was with me. I watched him water the grass at all of his favorite places and try to chase the rabbits that are everywhere. I’m glad I took the walk. I’m still grieving. That won’t change but I have let him go. He is free and so am I.

Spike, I’ll always love you. You’ll always be my dog. You’ll always be my “Fat Boy, “Sonny Jim” and “My Lad”.

Good Bye.

Chapter 3

Spike came home today.

I got the call from the vet that his remains were there and I could pick them up any time. Emotionally, I guess I was ready for it. I had a doctor’s appointment to go to first and I picked him up after. I was in and out in a minute. He is in a very nice wooden box. They even had a card with a very nice message that broke me again.

The ride home with him was somber and nice at the same time. I still talk to him and I can see him as clear as day. The way he would look at me while I drove was beautiful. He always trusted me no matter what. I could still see him. Of course it was in my mind. I still haven’t let him go yet.

Whenever I would work outside on the yard or garden he was always there. Sometimes he would wander off for a little while but always came home and sat on the grass watching; watching the street for passers-by. He would bark a greeting or just go up to them for a head rub.

L to R Spike, his brother Goliath and his mother Shelby

This week I needed to occupy myself more just to clear my head and come to grips with my loss. I spent a couple days working on the front yard and garden. I could visualize Spike there as he usually was. It felt right.

I must say that when I was finished it looked pretty good. The best its looked in several years. It looked so good that the homeowners association gave us the Yard of the Month award.

So Spike is home now, the house has curb appeal and we are slowly overcoming our grief.

The grief will pass but Spike will never be out of my life. Spike is the only true friend I ever had aside from my wife. He never argued with me but he could be stubborn. Spike was a great listener. I told him everything and he never revealed any secrets.

Thank you Spike for always being there and I’m sorry if I wasn’t there when I should have. Enjoy your new life and perhaps we will meet again. I hope so.